He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
