About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
