I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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