'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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