She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
