Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
