I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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