Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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