you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
