Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize