so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
