That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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