I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize