So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
