how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
