i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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