Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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