So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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