this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
