Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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