Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
