just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
