So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize