He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
