Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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