I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
