I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize