put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
