I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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