You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize