Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
