I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
