He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
