Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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