i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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