I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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