He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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