If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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