her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
