Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
