someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
