Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's Friday. Sex?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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