what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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