if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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