Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think i have herpe
just one?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize