i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i have two assholes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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