i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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