So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
