i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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