Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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