Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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