absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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