Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
