I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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