This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize