I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
