You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
