Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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