this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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